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Thursday 2 March 2017

Feminism And The Increase In Divorce Rate

"I am a Feminist but also a humanist" is always my response when colleagues come to me about Feminism talk.
I have colleagues who are quick to call my attention to gender based issues, 'ehen Okiemute your fellow feminists have started o, look at this one tweeting that she will not change her surname when she gets married' is an example of the Feminism conversation starter.
I would respond that I am a humanist and believe in equal treatment of both sexes while still retaining some traditional values.
I will teach both my sons and daughters to do house chores and not make anyone feel superior to the other. I will teach my sons to be chivalrous and to not bottle up their emotions in the name of 'being a man'. I will teach my daughters to accept gestures of chivalry without developing a sense of entitlement. I will teach my sons and daughters to cook because it is a survival skill needed by everyone - hunger knows no gender.

I am a Feminist but also a Christian and therefore believe that the man is the head of the home because the Bible tells me so. I will teach my children this.

I believe in marriage for better or worse unless there's a threat to life.

I read a few minutes ago on a blog that a court has ended the 17 year old marriage of a popular Nigerian Actor on the grounds of infidelity and abuse. I read comments on the story too and most people are of the opinion that women are coming into their own and no longer willing to 'die just to save face and be called Mrs'. Some others think it's a shame that women are no longer willing to fight for their marriages and that Feminism is the reason why marriages are failing as women now think themselves equal to men.

Sigh! Were women created inferior to men?

I often get into arguments with colleagues about the roles of a Wife and a husband in the home. Especially because I have female colleagues who say they will never cook for a man because they were not born to slave in the kitchen. At such times you would see the guys boiling as they argue about how these women will not 'find a man to marry them'..."nonesense women deceiving themselves in the name of Feminism".

My response at such times is "to each his own, besides a couple should reach an agreement on how their home will be run before they consummate their union".

I also once asked a Female colleague, "so who will feed you, your husband and children"? That isn't my business though as I do not think cooking alone will guarantee the success of a marriage.

So to the issue of Feminism causing an increase in divorce rates, here's my opinion which is simply what it is 'my opinion'.

I do not think Feminism is the reason for failed marriages rather it's cluelessness on the part of a couple on how to make their marriage work that leads to breakup. Cluelessness will result in many things viz: a man forgetting he is the head and therefore has been entrusted with the responsibility of protecting his family, a couple letting the pressure and challenges of living daily making them forget that the promise they made is to each other and no one else, a couple forgetting that God is the author of marriage and is therefore the only one that can help them succeed in it.

I meet a lot of young men whose mentality leave me feeling sorry for the women they will get married to and of course I have met girls that leave me mouth agape at the way they think.

We live in a 'me first' society where people love with an agenda. We live in a society where Women are paranoid as a result of being oppressed for too long. We live in a society where Men want to get married and still live as though they are single. We live in a society where Women cry for equality yet will only date Men who they think 'can afford them' - talk about being delusional. Are women now a commodity to be afforded?

I do not think Feminism is responsible for the rise in divorce rates rather it's a decline in Men who refuse to be swayed by culture but chose to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her. A decline in women who would respect their husbands even when they don't feel like it. A decline in morals and appreciation of family & the sanctity of marriage. An increase in Men who have declared war against Women who clamour for equal treatment and an increase in Women who have declared war against men and inevitably themselves in the name of being feminists is in my opinion the cause of an increase in the rate of divorce.

2 comments:

  1. You have said it all dear. Is quite unfortunate this is becoming a trend in our society this days, marriages failing at the slightest misunderstanding, one big question mark it always leave's in my heart, is that, "were this persons actually and truly in love?" Because my own philosophy of this thing call love is all about looking out for the happiness of the other, always striving to guard against anything that threatens the joy and happiness and affection the other person brings into it.
    We can only hope for the best but certainly there are definite norms that must be inculcated in our growing children that will shape their way of dealing with people, particularly their opposite sex.
    Thumps up dearie! A great piece from you again.

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  2. Thank you Innocent and I agree with your philosophy of love. It will get better.

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